So much Screen Time!!!

I've been working on so many videos and content for weeks on end and I can feel by brain frying.

Honestly I don't know why I do this to myself but I pick so many projects and then I want to do more and I just never seem to be able to end them.

I mean I can finish a project, but I never feel satisfied afterwards. I wonder if I'm like crazy or something or maybe  just need to do crap or I'll feel empty.

Things would be super special awesome if I could just get the things I've been wanting to do for years now like my comic and getting better at digital art. I can learn how to do wire wrapping and the intricacies of mixing resin to a perfect degree but I cant draw one comic chapter.

Either way these videos are nearly done, hopefully by the middle of March.

Not like I'm working towards anything important since I can barely manage to hold onto any cash nowadays. Everything is too expensive and bleeding me dry.

Seriously i will never be able to live alone again if things stay the same.
UGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cyber Nomad

 The world is so chaotic and unforgiving that the idea of a digital escape has always seemed to alluring to me.

Ever since I was young I had hoped that the digital world would really be something worth becoming a part of and would push us to newer heights.

For some reason I cant help but believe that the internet has left me behind... or maybe I was never really a part of it to begin with?

Idealizing the unknown world makes for potential, and dreaming for unassuming creators. However the dream has collapsed as we put price tags and deception over the desire to create.

The internet felt like a place I could build an ideal world, maybe even a future, with unlimited possibility and like-minded people who I could find community.

Somehow the communities I find are just smaller, crueler and so much more quite that maybe I should have just stayed on my own.

Idealism is destroyed by reality and no one wants to hear realists and no one takes an idealist seriously, so why did I need to get stuck between them?

Not even a place like this will be spared from the screaming silence but what better a place to scream I guess.

I hope a new horizon approaches soon, and for once it is a good one with a sense of belonging.

Working with time

Me all day every day!

Its become so jarring how much I find myself managing time down to the minute lately.

Honestly I just don't want to miss out on things or that there is just too much to do and not enough time to do it.

Being bogged down by wanting to do so much isn't really a bad thing for me, Its how little we can actually do that upsets me.

Maybe I was just programmed wrong or maybe something is wrong with the world but I need to do more because I want to feel fulfilled.

If there's one thing I LOVE is being able to say "I've done that" or "Yeah I could do that" and then getting to do it.

Seeing what I wan do with my own hands and the ideas that brew in my brain to eventually become reality is the greatest feeling in my life, but the clock doesn't allowed me to do that and its really just the absolute worst.

I KNOW I could do some incredibly impressive things but work and expectations, (8 frigging hours a day) at a job is just stupid.

Set me free, PLEASE! 

Still going at it

 

Making blogs huh?

Somehow we managed to come full circle to just posting into the wind, and thats cool.

Still figuring things out around here but there is some kind of charm to posting for a small audience.

Hoping this kind of thing can get me out of the need to be on social media so often and just slow down.

All of this stress just isnt good, and I dont want to doom scroll anymore.

Here's to better internet habits!